A little waste of web space!

Thursday, March 24

Have You Ever Seen A Chicken's Nugget?

That's an advertisement on the wall at a local hamburger establishment. It does entertain the question: "Why haven't I seen a chicken's nugget?"
Sean and I were recently surprised to see a squirrel's nugget on the back of a British magazine recently. We discussed what part American prudishness played in the airbrushing of small animal genetalia.
There is a very large polar bear hovering over a taxidermist's office on the feeder of 45 and you can see all the bear's goods. It's a 20 foot statue! And they had problems with old David's wanker on top of the Oshman's in Shenandoah?
So what's the catch? If it's inanimate then go for it, but if it's a photo, steer clear? <-- Ha! Get it?
Steer Clear?



mOxIe Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 23

My Thoughts on Terry Schiavo - Hey Haggis! Get Back here!

If my family has been through nearly this exact situation, then I would assume that this has happened in America more than just those two times. Why is there such an outpouring of hate about it now? First of all, before I proceed, we did not end my aunt's life by removing the feeding tube, she contracted pnuemonia in her 11th year of the 'vegetative state'. Therefore be rest assured I am not speaking from the corner of guilt. Both my aunt and Terry had apparantly problematic lives. I know my aunt's story and Terry was bulemic. Now imagine this: you go from your crappy life to suddenly being in a room that smells like a diaper, has flourescent lighting, and a big naked woman masturbating and teaching the second grade at the same time in the bed facing yours. You haven't been outside in 12 years. Conceivably they could put the TV within your line of sight but you get angry when it goes on so they don't. You haven't tasted good food in 12 years, you haven't spoken your mind in 12 years, you've been in a diaper or had a catheter, you have gross mean jerks giving you spongebaths, you have no dignity, you can't ask for what you want. All you have to look forward to is the next visit from a family member. You light up like a candle when they walk in the room but you thrash with fits and grunts when they leave. For 12 years saliva has collected at the corners of your mouth drying and bleeding and hurting. Your mouth is always open so it is always dry and hot and painful. When your nieces come to visit they bring lollipops and q-tips soaked in water so you can taste something else besides the dried spit, but no nurse here is going to do you that favor.
Now imagine a prison. TV, baseball, magazines, books, food, cigarettes, sunshine, the ability to move around, relationships with people even if they are prisoners, conjugal visits with your spouse, the ability to read the letters from your kids or parents. Most people think prison is terrible.
Now imagine Heaven. Imagine Heaven from my Aunt's point of view when she got there. Now do you think we should have kept her on that respirator for ten years like my grandparents wanted her to? When my aunt got pneumonia, she was put on a respirator and began to decline. The doctors said they could keep her alive like that indefinitely if we wanted. For 13 years my family had weighed this decision. It is a horrible, terrible, gut wrenching decision to make. You think about it (even I, as a young person growing up to adulthood) every day for those 13 years. It is not an idle decision. Parents hate losing their children. My grandparents, Sean's grandparents, Terry Schiavo's parents. Sean's mother had a sneak peek at the lives of Terry and my aunt, being in the hospital for over 6 months and she was quite clear when she said she wanted to go to Heaven. I fully stand behind my next statement. It is sometimes selfish to enforce life. I am not taking a position per se on this case. I am not a member of her family. But here is what I have to say about the Schiavo case to the fanatics (on EITHER side): It is an incredibly tough decision that takes decades to make, not just a few months, and takes information to pour over and examine, not just news stories, and also personal experience with the person in question. The media just needs to leave the family and the situation alone, and the government doesn't need to be making split second decisions that could effect so many other different things.

Now, imagine my family going into Heaven and extracting my aunt and putting her back in that bed. Would that not be the most heinous thing you could imagine?

One more thing. Mary Baker Eddy would certainly not agree with the right on this one. God's will is not necessarily being respected. Oh, and I'm not a liberal or a leftist. I've just been through this.

See these articles for some info. Not necessarily the best info, but from a different source:
http://majikthise.typepad.com/majikthise_/2005/03/debunking_lies_.html
http://hinessight.blogs.com/church_of_the_churchless/2005/03/religious_zealo.html

Tuesday, March 22

Over The Hills & Everywhere

So. I want to know what you all think of this:


Scratch and sniff Posted by Hello

Go to this website and report back: http://www.christianitydaily.com/template/articleenn.htm?code=engcul&id=2684
Go on! Go!

Monday, March 21

When You're Alone In a Bathroom . . .

A public one, that is, and you're washing up after having done, well, what you've done, and you're singing along to the song raining down from the speakers, does it suddenly seem like you're in your own private disco? Do you imagine that Barry Gibb is perched up on the ledge of a stall with reflections of the disco ball swarming all over his flourescent smile? Does the feeling and the song follow you all the way to the parking lot where you take your friend (in this case a tall drink of a smoking margarita) by the hand and spin him around while singing More Than a Woman, both you and him, laughing and singing under the foggy fake moonlight of the Denny's sign? It would be nice if magic popped up and tapped me on the shoulder all the time, or maybe I'd get tired of it. Who knows?

Sunday, March 20

Act Now!

I always thought that if I ever became a famous singer (not that I can sing at all) that I would be like Madonna and just use my first name because it's spelled weird. Well, somebody got to the koolaid before I did, which makes me glad I started that new hair band . . .

Scrunchie anyone?


A flash of my teeth and a whip of my tail . . . Posted by Hello


This is my CD Posted by Hello


I'm an awesome Carly Simon meets Barbie Lookalike! Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 19

Metal Heads

Coming to you live in 2005!

Jmc, Dave Chappelle, and Adam Curry singing their new hit single:

THE HOT IS IMPLIED

See them live at the Summit -

CHOCOLATE LAVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 18

In the immortal words of Stan Marsh:

I learned something today . . .

Always have a clean house!

You never know who's going to ring your doorbell at 1:00 in the afternoon on a random Friday, or who's going to call when you're on your way to IHOP on the previous random Friday.

So today, I'm sitting around wallowing in my ill health (feeling a little sketchy the past couple of days) when who should appear, unannounced, at my doorstep but my dear Uncle Freddie from Dallas and his 13 year old Paris look alike daughter and her best friend. My house was a wreck, to say the least. Well, at least to me, it was. People always tell you that your house is cleaner than theirs, but how often are they lying? You see, I think there are two kinds of people in this world: People who think their house is clean when it is a total roach trap, and people who think their house is filthy when it's cleaner than the lobby at the Ritz. I seriously don't know which category I fit into. But today, anyway, I felt like the filthy house girl. Luckily, for me, I know that my uncle is being entirely truthful when he says his house is the grosser one, but I have no idea how clean that other girl's house is. My bathroom is "under construction" for Cripe's sakes!

Oh, and it pleases me to tell you that I had a psychic moment today as well. I was supposed to go run all of these errands, but when I was on the phone with husband this morning I told him I was having a day where you get the feeling you just shouldn't go anywhere. Good thing I didn't or my Uncle would've missed me and my dirty house. I was glad he came by though. We don't get to see him much, and my little cousin thinks I'm the world's foremost ghost hunting guru. I won't shy from the title. Just call me Madame Morbida.

Aren't all words immortal?

Note:

I took the links off the Mormon posts because they were messing up my blog. If you really want to check my work, just Google the stuff, it's all there. Yes, I should learn how to use links. Tutor, step up . . .